A Life of Dreams

I dream of friendships,
As those you conceive.
I dream of companionship,
Which you always receive.
I dream of love,
As you've always felt.
I dream from above,
What i haven't felt.
But only can i dream.






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Who Really Am I to You

You say i can trust you.
They say i can trust them.
Is there real truth in that?
You say they can trust you.
They say you can trust them.
I see no truth in that.
I see them turn on you.
I see you turn on them.
I see the world like that.
I see them back-stab you.
I see you back-stab them.
I see everybody like that.
You say i can trust you.
They say i can trust them.
I see no truth in that.
Who am i to you?
Who am i to them?
Do you betray me like that?






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The Sorrow You Hold Within

As i stare into your eyes
There is much i recognize.
You feel alone all the time.
You wish to find love in due time.
As i stare into your eyes
You feel as to reach your own demise.
Don't you worry, i'll be here.
Let yourself to me come near.
As i stare into your eyes
There's something new i realize.
For us to befriend is more than error
For this before me is just a mirror.






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10th March 1994

Peace and sorrow-
Relief and pain-
Happiness and sorrow-
What is my tomorrow?
Peace 'cause her pain is gone,
But sad 'cause her love is gone.
Relief that she's in Joy,
But my pain has killed my joy.
Happy that she's in Glory now,
I'm sorry i can't see her now.
My eyes clearly tell how
I have missed her now.
My smile shining shows only
One bit of hers - it's Holy!
She now she gone and past away.
She knew her time wasn't far away.
We were ready as each day moved us deep.
Calmly she left us in her sleep.
God has called her name at last.
Grandma's with Him now and free at last!






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The Freedom of Loners

No one to wait for
No one to struggle for
No one to commit to
No one to worry about
No one to cry for
No one to call on
No one to lean on
No one to be with
No one to trust
No one to love me






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Time

The gears keep turning.
The hands keep moving
Without returning.
It is not ending...
It is not stopping...
Not for our whining.
Do what you're wishing.
Clog the sands falling.
Hold the wand swaying.
Invert the earth's turning.
Nothing we're thinking
Will rest time's running.






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What is Love

He said he loved her.
She said she loved him.
But what is love, sir?
Can you answer, ma'am?
He said he loved her,
But his time was his.
He didn't chose her
But went with his friends.
She said she loved him
Yet her wants came first.
She took time from him
For her, even at worst.
He said he loved her?
She needed his help.
He never did offer
His strong hand to help.
She said she loved him?
He made petty errors.
She hadn't understanding.
She pushed him out doors.
He said he loved her-
She said she loved him-
Love's an action verb.
Love's sacrifising.






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True Friendship

Like the horizon-
All around and beautiful to see,
Dear to everyone but is never reached.






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Hold me...

My heart races liquid fire through my veins
Sending, through my body, intolerable pains.
Raging anger and crushing sadness rush my mind.
These troubles have burdened my aching spine.
I've fallen- i'm dying behind this smile you see.
All i need is for someone to hold me...






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Treacherous Medicine

Out of the cold shadows of the night
Come the painful longings i must fight.
Each passing hour between everydose
Lasts an eternity like no one knows.
Uncontrolled actions take over me
And make my body shake nevously.
Unbearable pain shoots through my all
Taking me farther as from life i fall.
Knowing my medicine would turn poison,
I let it flow in me to make me one.
A morphine adict is what i've become;
But to die in such bondage would be dumb.
I set myself to live through such hell
As i broke those rusted chains that fell.






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Let me Fly

The sky, so blue and bright!
Its space, so unlimited to soar in.
O, Lord, set me in flight! The wind, freely always changing!
Its speed, greatly rushing through me.
O, Lord, i tire patiently waiting! The sun, so large and round!
Its power, with holding Heaven's beauty.
O, Lord, free me from this burdened ground!






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Bound

Holding tight losing grip
I'm reaching for the tip,
The edge of my time. No, i'm not falling off
No, there's no point to life
None i see at this time. I've loved all and the world
I've served all and the word
I've been hurt all this time. My life is all failure.
My hard work i butcher
'Cause i've hurt you all this time. You know the life i live
And the tears me it gives
Which drown me through time. Why do you hold me down
To this earth of burdened ground
When we can fly through time. I wanna go home please.
Let me see your face of Peace
And live with you in Eternal Time.






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Haunted

I still carry her scent wherever i go.
That she once showed love to me, it lets me know.
And as it fades, i remember how she did so.






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Them

Cold and dark as the shadows of the night
Is the company which follows me tight.
They cling and hold to me with all their might
That i can not lose them in all my fright.






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Sorrow is a Lonely Feeling

As time stands still in my mind
It wears out my soul and has grind
My pain deeper that i can't find
Relief - it's a deadly bind. The storm's cold, unruley air
Fights to freeze my loving heart bare
Of what we had burning in there.
It hurts me so because i care. I see you and fall apart
Knowing, to you, i can not dart.
I read your eyes beyond your guard
Dying to soothe your hurt heart. Held open wide, my arms long
To hold you close again. Is that wrong?
I'm filled with regret from long
And live an all too lonely song.






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Her

When our eyes meet, the worlds becomes a blur,
And i feel myself falling deep into her.
Her gentle voice silences the chaos
And my mind drifts with the great clouds above us.






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Regret is a Painful Place

Regret - how it can linger.
It has claws with an unrelenting grip. Regret - how it rots the mind.
Controling it, only recalling the wrong. This regret has driven me mad.
I soin round and round in my confusion. This regret is all i feel.
I've turned numb to the world passing me by. The regret is making me shake
As my air narrows with the collapsing walls. Regret - there is nothing else
So strong to overtake me like this. I regret my past actions
How i want to undo to my first vile move! The regret i felt crazed me
Making me a fool, now i regret too much.






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Pour me Love

This dry desert ground has been beaten dead
By the burning sun raised high over head
And by travelers finding it their bed.
Hard as rock, it cracks in the turbulence
Of the thrashing winds crying out nonesence
And hurting this land for clouds drenching-dense.
Storms of lightning strike in raging hurry
Sending thunder from empty clouds' fury
And make this earth thrist and plead for mer'y.
This dry barren ground calls out to down rain.
Loving rain healing, caressing deep pain
And bringing new life to my soul insane.






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My Corner

I sit in a dark corner on my own,
Thinking of her and me being alone.
I close my eyes and breath in air to last,
For what i dreamed and lived and lost too fast
Has left me feeling emptiness inside.
Love was breaking through after the long hide.
I tried to be careful but i turned blind.
I embraced her but she's left me behind.
I'm confused and empty being alone.
I sit in a far corner on my own.






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Never

You can't go on hating me forever.
You won't live on loving me forever.
Why should've you known me ever?






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Virginia

My vision has blured in the falling rain.
I feel as though my efforts were in vain.
Time has slipped through my hands like ocean grain
Leaving me empty with nothing i've gain'.
Nature's western breath has caught your open wings
Proving we had no more than silly flings.
Or will we find eachother in the winds?
Our torturing wheel spins so fast it sings!
Memories are treasures and bring lost hope.
The storms have held us close and taught us cope.
These clouds of sweet sorrow i can not rope
To see the sun again - this is my hope.
My precious friend, in God we trust --
The ultimate bond; We hold it. We must
To know the roads mapped out for each of us.
Live for your dreams, i'm praying for you just...






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Rest

No sound, no motion - only simple flow-tion
Of sweet coca silk soothing troubled notion.
Protected within, haunting evils are razed
As rest blurs all sight into a dreamy daze.
Pulled by the deep, midnight skies, i fall steep
Into eden where madness ends with sweet sleep.






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Memory

Four steps from the second millenium
In the first sun of julius' regimen,
Aphrodite grasped my heart with such vigor
Its vessles burn wildly in fervor.






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Little Earthen Rose

I hold her close to my heart with desire;
I long for tenderness she gives my soul.
Her crimson pedals have set me on fire;
With such fervor, i clench on to feel whole.
After the storms, the dew she yields soothes me,
Just as the fragrance of her heals my pain.
But her delicate spirit can not be
With such treatment from this savage insane.
The more i desire, the deeper i fall
Into despair, for these throrns dig my skin.
She wilts in my vice that her pedals fall;
Yet without me she fades. How will we win?
With patience to touch her i'll watch her gleam,
Which 'lone warms my numb heart and mends each seam.






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As a Boy...

As a boy i fell in love
With the most beautiful song ever sung.
I am a man dying young.






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Puppy Love

He wags his tail and pants with a welcome grin.
He cannot contain his joyful frolics when
Her face appears from where she has been.
He offers friendship turning belly-up.
He kissese her gently when she seems fed-up,
'Cause her heart-hollow fits this pup.
Love trained and well taught, he moves on her command
To see her warm, happy smile for him and
Feel a fur-ruffling caress from her hand.
She is a busy human with little clock
For play when he comes to tug at her sock.
Begging for her, he hears the door shut and lock.
With silent whine he settles in her absense,
Impatiently waits her returning presense.
He lies in the sun feeling her warm essense.
She returns to see him for her own sake
To remember his face ans soothe her heartache.
Neglected puppy sees her face sadly shake.
He wags his tail and pants with a welcome grin.
He can not contain unconditional love when
Her face returns from where she has been.






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Love Entirely Rare

Gentle hands caressing tender skin.
Soft wispers telling desires on a whim.
Careful fingers knowing how and when.
Loving eyes expressing true emotion.
Moistened lips kissing with passion.
With a sigh, she smiles in slow motion.






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L E R

She walks to me from my mind.
She talks to me in a dream.
I reach for her with my heart.
I fall for her utterly whole.






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Through This Window

Dark, gray clouds have huddled
To complain unsubtled.
Sky-fire burns wildly
Against winds venting coldly.
Withhold! Withhold! Fight it!
Now prove your strength legit'!
Srtaining... straining... more painly-
The rains rush down. it's raining.






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Playing with Dolls

Like a madman i talk to a doll
On my anxious palm and wonder all.
Does she lay her lips tenderly on you
And wish she was kissing me unblue?
Does she hold you in her hand
And wish she could hold in hers my hand?
Does she grip you with all her might
And wish she had me there to hug tight?
Does she think of me and tell you all?
Tell me! tell me, little voo-doo doll!






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